Q: Do cats always land on their feet?
A: Cats never land on their feet if you saw off their feet.
Q: If you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring one thing with you, what would it be?
Q: What annoys you?
A: The Holocaust.
Q: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
A: In a hover car with robot friends.
Q: Coke or Pepsi?
A: Things like this just seem so unimportant ever since grandma died.
Q: How can I get in touch with you?
A: Don’t touch me.
Q: I have the hiccups. How can I get rid of them?
A: Kill yourself.
Q: Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
A: There are only, like, two songs about rainbows.
Q: Were any animals harmed in the making of this comic?
A: Many animals were harmed in the making of this comic.
Q: Why can’t you just answer a question without being so snarky?
A: Because we’re all gonna die.
Q: Have you been drinking again?
A: I’ll be fine.
Q: We used to be so close. Why don’t you call me anymore?
A: I’m just going through a lot of things right now.
Q: Do you think I’m pretty?
A: Of course. Come on.
Q: Why do you always set off smoke bombs and disappear every time I try to kiss you?
A: I don’t want to talk about this right now.
Q: Do you even care about me anymore?
A: Please don’t do this.
Q: Did you ever care at all?
A: It’s getting late.
Q: I miss you.
A: That’s not a question.
Q: I MISS YOU??? IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH OF A QUESTION FOR YOUR SUUUUPER SEEEEERIOUS FAQ??? PLEASE INSPIRE US ALL WITH YOUR AMAZING ANSWERS???
A: I’m done. Goodbye.
Q: Wait. I’m sorry.
Q: You know I was just kidding around, right? I’m such a weirdo. Tee-hee!
Q: Are you still there?
Q: So what’s your favorite color?
Q: I really like your comic.
Q: It’s really funny.
Q: The one where the banana gets angry? LOL!!!
Q: You there?
Q: OK, I’m leaving too.
Q: Fuck you, Ray DOUCHEray!